Breaking down...

You know those moments at night where you realize things that are actually happening and you just break down completely and sometimes just bust out crying... well I had one of those nights last night. 

I broke down completely last night cause everything just hit me all at once. My breakdown lasted a good five or ten minutes. But I think that breakdowns are good to have once and a while or else everything stays all bottled up. Then eventually when you do breakdown or just bust loose, it could be you accidentally taking it out on someone else or something. Some people think oh if I cry it will show weakness but I think it's exactly the opposite. I think that it shows you are strong because your facing the situation or dealing with the situation at hand. 

There are times in our lives where we have to be strong for everyone else but sometimes that gets really rough. At this point in my life with everything going on I feel like I am supposed to be the one that's strong for everyone else. But it gets really tough at times because sometimes you feel like you don't have that one person to be strong for you when you feel weak or feel like you can't do it anymore. The person that keeps me strong when I feel like I can't do it anymore is my dad. My dad is leaving for a while and I can't say why or anything like that but I can tell you he is coming back. He has been telling me I will be fine do not worry about me I will be back. But of course I am still gonna worry about him. I am staying strong at the moment but I know as the next couple of days pass, it's going to be hard. Over time it might get easier and I am hoping it will. 

These are the moments where I just sit in prayer and ask for Jesus to my strength and to be my rock. I know he is always there and never leaves us but there are always those moments where it feels like he is not there. I know he is there though. Sometimes though you just need that comfort of a person, an actual person to make you feel a little better. 

I know I am going to make it through this. 

I am making it day by day!